Wednesday

randomly took a quiz the other day ;) boredom.. so yeah i was born on January 2, 1991 which was a Wednesday =D spot on i would say..

News?

Lately there's been a significantly high amount of coverage on Tiger Woods. You should know by now that the billionaire cheated on his beautiful Swedish model wife, Elin Woods with about a dozen different women - ranging from waitress to porn stars. I am angry & sadden at the same time. I sort of know how it feels like to feel cheated on, so I do understand how Elin feels. I send out my support for the entire family and I hope for a recovery both in the marital situation. Oftentimes it is a way of suppressing the pain in one’s life. This is not meant as an excuse, but as a probable issue that needs to be resolved in both of the Wood's lives. Temptations could be one of the reasons but does that give Mr Woods the right to forgo his marriage vows? Does that give him the right to break his promises and disrespect her? As the public we see what we see. We don't see what is behind closed doors, the fights the arguments, the disappointments. We judge harshly and quickly without having full knowledge of all the details and the background of the marriage. A quick response would seek to tarnish and even destroy a person, but a healthy response would seek to support, encourage and even offer heartfelt prayers for the couple. Don't get me wrong adultery is wrong, but what would you like to do watch people heal or watch people become destroyed. Sometimes we forget that sex is also an addiction and unless it is treated can have the same affect that alcohol can have to the alcoholic. SO PLEASE LETS LEND A HEART TO THIS COUPLE AND NOT BE QUICK TO TEAR ANYONE APART. PS: Tiger Woods' decision that he will be taking an indefinite break from golf to devote his time and effort into saving his marriage is the BEST thing he has came up with. No matter how much money u earn, how famous u are; family is the most important and the love of your life will always be your priority. Yes indeed, sacrifices MUST be made.

Facelift

Woohoo!! I gave my blog a makeover =) since the year's coming to an end & we'll be ushering in the new year very soon... Plus it's also in conjunction with my NEW life; can't wait to see what 2010 has in store for me ;) I really like my blog's main picture would u call it? or template? The picture right at the top when u first view my blog? Yeah that one :) The picture's just really meaningful to me and it totally represents what I am, in other words HEARTBROKEN. Yes I got my heart broken for all those out there who's still in the blue. It was torturous and a difficult time for me but I'm proud to say that I have sort of managed to somewhat overcome this hurdle. With much strength, determination & not forgetting all the tremendous amount of support I got from EVERYONE, I can safely say my heart has been patched back and whole again. I am not 100% healed & will never be 100% healed. Of course the bruises, scars are still there and no doubt the stitches will forever be visible, but all these serve as a remembrance of the amazing life + beautiful journey I once experienced. Very "ngam" with my blog picture right? ;) Heart shattered into pieces; in time it became whole again and securely held together by a healing plaster. In addition, the background of the picture is again very accurate to my being. Why do I say this? I would not have survived this horrendous obstacle WITHOUT MUSIC. I can honestly say that MUSIC WAS MY SAVIOUR and it will continue to be my saviour :) I'm not talking about songs u hear nowadays on the radio where all I hear is words scrambled together in a form of rap. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy a variety of music genre but what truly helped me get through my situation were songs which had deep, insightful meanings. I'll do a post on the list of songs that might be able to help anyone who finds themselves in the same situation as me ;) That particular picture has many significant meanings to me. THIS IS ME alright? I am not ashamed to show the world that I am a vulnerable human being, in fact this indirectly makes me a stronger person - no idea how but it did! ^.^ Time does indeed heal everything, it just takes time. Be patient for the world is broad and wide ;) waiting patiently...

Shaung & Arif's Eighteenth I

This was us before the surprise - all lying, acting blur towards Shaung so that he won't suspect anything :) photo's courtesy of Arellynn - copyright protected by Dee Dee ;)

Yuet Yin -Yi Lin - Navina - Myself - May Zhen

Shaung the BOSS :))

i'm always the cake-cutter in all the parties ;D

Danesh's shirt's so COOL

Shaung being Shaung

May Zhen - Ben

Arellynn - Ben

Shaung - May Zhen

Shaung - Arellynn

Yong Bin's doing the sleeping Buddha pose ;D

Peng Han & Jia Wei was there too.

Our headboy will always be our headboy =.=

ENERGY (Bomoh Arif at work)

all the single ladies!!

ooops! forgot!! scratch the single out ;) all the LADIES!

Kok Wah - Ben - Danesh - Guo Yi - Navina

Yong Bin - Shaung - Arif - Hoi Liong - Myself

Arellynn - May Zhen

Addition of Tatt Fai

nothing was going on alright =.=

the happy couple, Shaung & Arif :)) lovesssss

Mr Razif :)) head of the table..

yay we got Tatt Fai to SMILE & show his teeth =D

Arif practising his pout =0

Hoi Liong as our blurry background =.="

Tatt Fai was a little HIGH i guess ;)

Happy Ending sealed with a kiss by the happy couple :))

Beautifully Broken

We were forced to sit together when We knew nothing of one another.

We tried to make the best of it even though it was initially uncomfortable.

Day after day, it became much easier and We could not stop talking to each other.

We realize we enjoyed each other's company and wanted more of one another.

Soon We started to spend every waking moment together to get to know each other better.

We found out that We had a connection but did not know what it was at that time.

We just knew We wanted one another and kept thinking about the other person.

Life became exciting and the drive to see each other was high.

The fire inside Us burnt vigorously whenever We were together.

Numerous weeks past and the connection grew deeper and unexplainable.

We hesitated at first as We were unsure of how the other person might feel.

The opportunity came and We took the risk. It paid off marvelously.

We were compatible in most ways even though We have different interest.

We filled each others needs effortlessly and satisfied each other's cravings.

We both wanted the same things and We completed one another.

We supported each other with no questions asked.

Whenever something was up, We will solve it together and that made us stronger.

The feelings grew so much that it became overwhelming but We still craved more.

Days grew into months and finally into years.

We had a love that was unexplainable.

It was something We both never encountered before.

It was never enough to just see each other everyday or talk to each other everyday.

We were madly in love but there was more than meets the eye.

People could not understand but We knew perfectly well what the other person meant to us.

We were always there for each other no matter what the circumstances were.

Uncountable bittersweet moments We went through and experienced together.

It did not break Us at all, it only made Us even stronger as what We had continued to grow.

We were always in our happy place as nothing could stop Us or tear Us apart.

When I had to leave, We were both depressed but I knew what must be done.

You did not object but again You supported my decision.

When You started Your new life, I was jealous as You were about to experience a new life.

A completely new life without my presence.

But I gave You nothing but encouragement.

Life became difficult for the both of Us.

I was patient, You were patient.

I was there for You and You were always there for me when I needed You.

The distance away proved that We could overcome obstacles together.

Hand in hand, We both came out victorious and were back in each other's life once again.

Nothing could stop Us as our feelings were still as strong as ever.

Our feelings even grew fonder as We entered different stages of the relationship.

Distractions came along and holes started to appear but We managed to close it up.

We were bliss, satisfied and secure.

We knew that nothing could be too big or difficult for Us to handle.

We knew no one could come between Us as We completed each other.

Everything was not perfect but it was in excellent shape (or so I thought)

Soon the holes started to open again as the stitches were not solid enough.

I came to You to patch back the missing pieces but You passed it out as nothing.

You assured me that there was nothing wrong and that everything was fine.

My heart stated otherwise but I believe You and thought nothing about it.

After a while things change. Slowly but drastically.

First You replied my messages late.

Then You started to message me rarely.

You seldom call.

You were hesitant to spend time with me.

There was not much effort coming from You.

I was patient as I trusted You.

Our communication deteriorated but I never thought of Us being that way.

It never crossed my mind for what was about to happen.

I never wanted anyone else over the course of Our relationship.

I was satisfied and happy with You. I accepted whatever shortcomings You had.

No one is perfect and Your flaws are what make You, You.

I thought You felt the same way but I guess I was dead wrong.

We did not communicate for a week.

All my messages went unanswered.

I was patient once again and I waited for You.

Finally, I could not take it anymore.

I called to check on You.

A huge blow occurred and I got a big fat slap on my face without any warning.

You said this relationship was not going to work out.

What has caused this? You did not answer.

You left things hanging and left me to dangle.

I was in the worst state ever. I needed You the most. I needed to know what happened.

I wanted to know Your explanations. But You left to enjoy Your new life.

Day after day, I wonder. Ponder upon what has happened to Us.

You were in my head every second and every breath I took.

A week. 7 days. 168 hours. Still no contact. Have You truly forgotten about me?

I spent countless nights waiting for You. But You never came back.

The tears I shed were all because of You. But You took no notice.

In spite of everything, I still had some hope in me.

I took matters into my own hands as I could no longer wait for you.

I called to demand for a meet up. You agreed.

I waited the whole day for Your invitation to the venue and time.

No answer. Again I took the initiative. You finally came. I poured my feelings onto You.

Your reason for the change in attitude?

You said You lost interest in the relationship.

I was understanding. I still have some patience in me.

I wanted to know the factors that had contributed to Your sudden change in feelings.

You said You did not know.

I accepted it but I knew there was definitely something.

No one can lose interest in anything overnight. Something has provoked You.

I poured my soul and life onto You.

I gave You everything You asked for that was reasonable.

I gave You my heart. I trusted You with my feelings.

But in the end, You broke them both.

We loved each other too much to hate each other.

We agreed to be mutual and good friends for life as We understood one another.

We must never lose someone so dear to Us even if things do not work out. You taught me that.

Over time, I found out something that made me lose hope in Us.

I realized that You have started to lose Your appetite for me.

Ever since You started Your new life, You have found many other apples around.

Apples who are far more interesting and beautiful I assume.

You did not want to be stuck on eating the same apple day after day.

You got bored of that particular apple. So I guess You wanted to keep me aside.

You just want to taste all the different varieties of apples there are in this world.

You realized that there are many more around who are much sweeter.

You never and will never admit this to me. But I know. I know You too well.

You maybe able to lie to everyone and even yourself.

But You cannot lie to me. So if that's the way You want it. I have no choice.

I thought I was not good enough for You.

Probably I was not sweet enough, red, crunchy or juicy enough.

I blame myself for the break up. But I know better now.

I deserve every bit of You. But You do not deserve me.

You hurt me terribly and left me to rot. I reached for help.

I obtained countless amount of support.

I found out that You are not the only one who used to care about me.

I will recover and will be whole again. I will take my time to go through this.

I am more matured and wiser now. I see the world in a brand new perspective.

I have no regrets being with You. I have gained and learnt much.

I hope You will have someone who will be better than me in Your terms.

We will never stop being good friends. I assure You We will be even better.

I will cherish all those memories We shared together.

I will always pray for You and Your happiness.

I will be here if You need me as I am who I am and I do not hold any grudges.

I do not hate You. I actually truly deeply love You so very much.

But I love You enough to let You go.

Take care and all the best.

*I wrote this post on November 14, 2009 at 1.22am. It was one way of healing my broken soul; I decided to pour my heart out as the heartbreak was taking its toll on me. What I expressed here were my personal feelings and what I went through (and is currently still enduring) I have gotten several feedbacks from the people closest to me and from strangers who I have never met in my life - what I wrote here has directly or indirectly inspired them in one way or another. Many different types of emotions were felt by different people as they read each line and word. With that, this post will always be here for everyone to ponder upon and for anyone who needs a little moral support. I am grateful that what I have written has end up becoming a source of inspiration and has managed to help those in need through their difficult time. Stay strong and forgive but do not try to forget. Last but not least, I thank all those who have read this; I truly appreciate the support you have given me. Yours sincerely*